Any parent knows that the things that sometimes come out of their kid's mouths cannot be explained. Or understood. Or even rationalized or apologized for, in some instances. They are pure. They are raw. They are unfiltered. So nothing should ever come as a surprise when it comes out of their mouths and yet miraculously, it still happens on a regular basis.
Case in point, changing Tommy into PJs last night. There doesn't need to be any more context, because it won't make a hill of beans difference anyway...
Me: "Tommy, stop playing with your penis, I'm trying to put your pajamas on."
Tommy: "I can't." (Is this irony, foreshadowing or both?)
Me: "Trust me son, it will still be there later. Just let me put your PJs on please."
Tommy: "Ok. But Daddy... my penis is so big now. Last night when I was asleep... it got so pumped up and huge... It was like a rhino-ro-cerous."
I mean I had nothing. Well, untrue... I just didn't think, "Well then grab your horn and CHARGE son!" was appropriate.
I settled on a meek, "Nice. Well it will still be there later son."
I pulled his pants up. I left the room. And completely fell out laughing.
Tommy yelled to me, "Everything okay Daddy?"
"Everything is fine son," I yelled back.
Everything is fine.