How Vile!?!?!?!

Some anecdotes require little-to-no-setup... like this one:

Upon entering the basement to grab some clothes from the dryer, I hear Tommy say from the upstairs...

"UH-OH.... DADDY!!! Don't come up here! I farted and it really, really smells. Like bad. Like you might get sick. I'll tell you when the coast is clear."

This is the point in where I should probably mention something about the proverbial apple and how it didn't fall from the tree...

First Day?

First day of school for many in these parts... congrats and good luck parents. Tommy has been waiting for this day for months but with staggered JK, the poor kid doesn't start until Friday. Much to his chagrin I assure you.

So this morning, he was standing first on the porch, and then going to the end of the driveway, and was saying, nay yelling, "Happy First Day!!!" to every kid that walked by. 

A couple of the older kids looked at him sideways, but most just laughed and waived back. He hasn't even got there yet, and he's vying for school embassador. Funny kid.

Happy Back-to-School Friendos.

Last Weekend Before Back-to-School!

Dear fellow Dads,

This is the start of the last weekend before school starts. Do what you have to do to make sure your kids have what they need to be cool next week. Your son will need...

New Clothes - Wash them though. Get rid of that new clothes feel. Printed tee and jean shorts is all you need to make a neutrally cool splash. Or go with a cool theme like the Minions, or Star Wars, or Angry Birds etc.

Backpack - Lots of great themes to suit any child. Star Wars for Tommy. They're a style statement though. Don't send him with last year's backpack or underestimate it's cosmetic as well as functional purpose.

Lunch Pail - Find one that matches the backpack if they aren't together.

Thermos - Same as above.

New kicks, styling as you can find. Nike. Vans. Converse. You never get a second chance to make a first impression. If it were you, you'd want to look cool, so choose shoes wisely.

Oh yeah, then you have all the other stuff that you need for school, like pencils, paper, fancy stationary, and food containers. That stuff is probably important too, but nowhere near as cool or #thugdaddy blog worthy.

You don't have to spoil them to be considerate of their wants; but do something that puts a smile on their face.

That's the best thing they can have on their first day of school.

Daddy Reflexes

You hear people talk about "cat-like" reflexes all the time, but this awesome montage shows that Thug Daddy reflexes may be even more spectacular...

Thug Daddy medals to every dad in this video whose reflexes helped narrowly avoid the every day dangers of childhood.

Rock Star Day

Today was Rock Star day at T's daycare.

Needless to say that a Thug Daddy like me needed to make sure that Tommy brought his "A" game. After all... he might actually be a Rock Star one day. lol

Mildly 80s inspired... mixed in with some badassery... and here's what we came up with...

Costume: Bandanas (red and black), cool printed tee, chains, skulls, and hair chalk. The rest is pure attitude.

When I picked him up at the end of the day, we had a typically cute Tommy conversation...

T: "Daddy, everybody was bugging me today."
Me: "Like teasing you?"
T: "No... just bugging me. Even people I never play with, wanted to play today."
Me: "Being a rock star is like that sometimes."
T: "I just wanted some space man."

He has all the makings... charisma... entertainer... loves to sing... I'd never try talk this kid out of being a rock Star one day. Or anything else for that matter.

Heck, this might be our get up for the first day of school in a couple of weeks.

Team Green

Soccer.is.done. 

The kids and the coach... melancholy. 

Fantastic last game today - really closely contested. There was a young lad on the other team named Flynn who was EASILY the best kid we played all year - what a great little player - kept it a game or it would have been a slaughter. I actually saw something from the kids they don't usually have to display - stamina. End of game... we rolled over them finally. And convincingly.

What an incredible experience this year has been. So fulfilling to have 16 hungry eyes looking at you every week just waiting for you to teach them something. Only makes the "beautiful game" that much more beautiful. My thanks to everyone but especially to Jenn for her awesome soccer momming. Today she made all the kids water bottle goodie bags... so smart. Most of the kids forgot all about the medal they got. Kudos.

I thought I would create a graphic for the kids and their Facebook pages...

Roll on Team Green!!! The season may be over but the memories will last forever. Thank you all for an incredibly rewarding experience.

Tommy is Four Today!

Four years ago today, my world shifted on its axis... and started spinning correctly for the first time in my life.

You complete me in a way I never dreamed possible son, I love you and wish you the happiest of days on your birthday.

Happy Birthday Kimosabe!

School Is In!!

This week marked a very important milestone for Tommy - he registered for school!

Tommy is a February birthday, and was not eligible for Junior Kindergarten this past September, so he will be going this upcoming fall. While it seems ridiculous to me that he will not be in a standard Kindergarten class until September 2016, I'm glad that he will soon be starting this next chapter of his life. Tommy is a learning sponge, and a social animal - the only thing that school will not offer Tommy, is much of a challenge. With so much to gain though, that will be an easy bump in the road.

His entrance into "the system" marks a very important time. In his first four years on this planet, his parents' sacrifices have been... many. Believing in the sanctity and importance of his early learning years, we took it upon ourselves to give more of our time than most parents choose, or can afford to do.

There is presumably a slightly unique mindset to a parent who does not experience the blessings of a child until after he is 40 years old. Is it a moderate amount of wisdom? A tangible sense of appreciation? A modicum of mild sensibility?

Whatever it is, I made the decision early on in parenthood that I was not going to miss any of the important early moments. I wasn't going to spend my life working more, so that I could provide for my son better. I felt the best thing that I had to "provide" or to offer, was me. And my time. And my love.

So while I could wax poetic all day long about all of the wonderful experiences and joy that it has brought me in the last four years, I will just say that it has been an incredibly thrilling, and fulfilling ride. Not a bed of roses by any means, the struggles have been many, and arduous. It's not a path that all can take; but, it's one that I am personally extremely thankful to have chosen for myself.

We have built an incredible bond - an amazing meld of guidance AND friendship. We have spent so much time with each other that we know the subtlest of nuances in each other. It helps Tommy every day. It helps me every moment of every day. It is a powerful parenting tool to know your child on an atomic level.

We share a love of learning. We share a love of gamesmanship. We share a love of silly-ness. We share a love of a lot of things, but most importantly of all, we share. A lot. I am so thankful every day not only of the love and joy that he brings me, but of the fact that I am constantly cognizant of it. I think it's part of a zen existence to enjoy where you are at all times. Tommy has taught me to do just that.

So it is with a very strange juxtaposition of excitement and disappointment that I turned over those registration papers this week. A beautiful beginning for Tommy, marks a very sad ending for his mom and dad. Tommy's everything. Gone will be the days of owning every moment of his time, and every drop of his energy. And his love.

But when the disappointment washed over me in a day or two, and the selfish pangs waned... I was left with an incredible feeling of fulfillment. Of making that "sacrifice". Of deciding to dedicate all of myself to him for as long as life would permit. Nobody can ever take away the incredible good that has been done. The incredible base and foundation that we have built, as a father and son.

My little man is ready to take on the world, with me at his side.

Job well done.

Fart Character

This post will likely offend some ladies in that they will not quite understand me on a fundamental fart level.

Here it is...

Boys. Like. Farts.

The louder and smellier - the more to behold. Even when defensive action is required.

I know that it is impossible for a woman to understand how it is possible to like something so putrid, so foul, so stench-ful, so nauseating; but those are just ways by which we boys rate and judge our farts - they aren't in any way negative.

Ok, ok... I hear you... this is a blog about daddies or kids somewhere right?

Yes.

My almost two-year old boy Tommy is developing his own "fart character". What I mean by that is, he is starting to learn timing, and the importance of it in a fart. *makes toilet training possibility note here*

Today he was walking around like you would imagine a child would imitate a chicken... squatted down, but not with thumbs tucked in armpits like as if he was a chicken... he had his arms looped around the back of his thighs... I couldn't figure out for the life of me what he was doing.

Then all of a sudden, he popped up off his feet like you would expect a child to imitate a chicken or a duck... still nothing earth shattering here I know, but then it happened...

... he landed and he FARTED as he landed. I froze... holding breath so as not to laugh, and then he did it again, and then AGAIN... three quick hops, with a fart on each landing.

Without a word between us (his back was to me and he was hopping away) - we both simultaneously burst into laughter.

Then he looked back at me, saw I was laughing, and laughed that much harder.

I guess it is at this point that I should perhaps mention that I don't encourage rude fart behavior with Tommy. It is a house where we always excuse ourselves if it happens. It is a house where he will hopefully one day learn that farts have to be controlled in the 'right way' in certain circumstances... as in not having them, or leaving a room... but for now... it's pretty darn exciting to see some fart control.

It's also pretty funny to see a kid that isn't taught any fart games, just learn them. As if somehow it is actually part of our genetic make-up.

You'll argue that my laughter shows acceptance. And I would be a fool to deny you. I won't. You are correct. But I swear, this is a case of chicken before the egg isn't it?

And he clearly did the chicken fart, before I ever laughed at that egg. Or taught him any such silly, or exaggerated fart game.

I mean, I hadn't even bothered teaching him fart stuff yet. #ruhroh

I do believe it's a #thugdaddy's responsibility to help his son form a POLITE, yet potentially humorous fart character for himself. It's a far more important element of our existence than you could possibly imagine... or would even let yourself believe.

Sorry ladies..

#thugdaddyrights

Use the force ThugDaddy!

While reading Non-Conventional Feeding Habits

  I had my own revelation about feeding those little ones that can't yet feed themselves. Now maybe it's just me, but somehow I seem to think there are plenty of other Thugdaddies out there that possess the same Jedi mind powers that I do. Tell me you've never done this:

Feeding time!  You have your little one sitting up in the high chair all strapped in. You open up the jar of apple sauce (or some other delectable baby food) and there he is leaning forward, mouth gaping ready for that first rubber coated spoon full. In it goes... his action slows for a few seconds, eyes fixed on you, slowly manipulating the apple moosh around his gums as he deciphers what that heck you just put in his mouth. Then suddenly, the look comes over him like he was just reunited with a long lost friend and all the joy and excitement come out of him. His hands grasping the tray, pulling himself forward and legs flailing underneath, you continue happily shoveling spoon full after spoon full of yummy apple moosh into his cute little face.
Then comes inevitable distraction. All attention to food has now been diverted to the TV, Cat, Dog, Shutting of the front door, it could be anything. So you call his name...  gently pulling on his little finger...

 Nothing...

 Trying you move his attention back to you, you reach out with the slightest tug on his chin. Now, if your like me your more likely peeling his little hands off the back of the high chair as he has now turned completely around because you for some reason thought that this time would be different.

 So now he's really strapped in only this time he's looking at you with that "I'm determined not to eat look."  You know you've got a challenge in front of you. Mano y Mano!

So what do you do? You go for the powerful Jedi Mind control technique!

You know the one. Going in with that rubber coated spoon full of apple moosh you say "Mmmmm... Yum Yum!!" and with all your might You open your mouth as if somehow just by shear will power your mouth will open his mouth, letting you shovel in that ever lovin' spoonful. Yea... Not so much! No such luck! But you don't give in? No Way! Digging down deeper you open your mouth as wide as you possibly can get it... "Aaahhhh!" Surely he can't fend of the power of the force! You are a Jedi Dark Scythe Lord ThugDaddy. He will succumb!...  Then just at that moment he looks up at you and smiles with a big open mouthed grin and those little teeth poking through! Your heart melts and you shovel in that heaping spoonful of apple moosh right into his Cute little face. And so it goes, over and over.  Opening your mouth to control his until the bottle is empty.    You win!  He's fed and happy. Once again, all it right with the world!

Daddy Kisses

Warning! This blog contains soppy, emotional blathering idiot type stuff. If you visit this blog for strictly thugonomics, please check back another day.

But at #thugdaddynation - we actually understand that while being a daddy is cool, and being cool is also pretty cool, part of the beauty of our nation is that we aren't afraid to let a little emotion out of the bag at this 'later' stage of our 40+ year old lives.

Enough disclaimer work...

Today my son Tommy... completely unsolicited... grabbed both my cheeks while I was in mid-sentence talking to Jenn... and planted his first ever Daddy kiss on me. Oh sure I have had cheek kisses, and some small 'reciprocal kisses' when I've given him kisses - but like many young boys - T isn't shy about letting Daddy know that his kisses are reserved mostly for his mommy.

And I thought I was pretty cool with that.

But today, when that bright smiling face started to laugh and laugh after giving his daddy what he seemed to know was an absolute thrill of a lifetime, something inside of me broke. And not something bad either.

I'm not ahsamed to admit that as soon as he kissed me, I cried. And I cried. And I cried. Joyously. Rapturously. It was not just the beauty of the moment that overcame me, it was a realization...

Being a parent is damn tough. Being a good parent is probably the toughest job in the world. Sometimes it's hard to understand why on earth it's so hard - and why on earth it seems so endless.

And then your child graces you with a moment that will resonate with you for the rest of your life, like very few things ever before in all your lifetime of experiences.

And suddenly you realize... that it's ALL so worth it. You know why you don't sleep at night to look after your child - why you work every moment that you have just to give them what they need - why you sacrifice almost everything of yourself, to build a life for them.

Because it's worth it - it's so worth it.

I want you all to know that if you haven't had one of these moments yet - just be patient - it will come. And when it does, clouds will clear, and blue skies will appear... with sunshine... rays and rays of glorious sunshine, because you will know...

You have purpose, you have value, you have worth. You are EVERYTHING to somebody.

And they know it.

And now so do you.

My life changed for the better today, and forever.

What could possibly be more special than that?

Coolness

What in the aqua blue H-E-double hockey sticks does the kid "not understanding cool" have to do with him being cool?

Ummm... OTHER people know what cool looks like.

Don't ever underestimate the value of taking your kid out looking cool #thugdaddynation. One day he'll have to know how to do it by himself.

Stupid things like pleather jackets and $50 hightop Jordans may not be all that sensible when he will grow out of it in a week, but dang, he's gonna look gooood while he's growing ain't he?

Testicular Fortitude

From the ages of 20 to 40, I would approximate that I took 8-10 shots to the groin through the course of life - sports etc.

Since Tommy turned one, that is the exact same number that I would attach to what I now take per day.

It takes real testicular fortitude to have an active son #thugdaddynation... make sure you're ready.