Thug Daddy Pride

I drop T off at school today and his teacher (ECE) comes running after me in the hallway...

T's Teacher: "I need to talk to you."
Me: *grimacing* "Ok, what's up?"
Teacher: "I had to take T out of class on friday."
I think to myself... here we go. Smarty pants is being disruptive again
Me: "Was he being disruptive?"
Teacher: "Oh no, not at all. Sorry. I took him out of class because we don't usually have the Junior JKs read because they're not ready, but T was just bursting at the seams."
Me: "What do you mean?"
Teacher: "Well... you know that boy of yours is pretty darn smart."
Me: "Sure, just ask him and he'll tell you."
Teacher: "I took him to the library because he was mouthing all the words as we read them. I sit down with him, and he reads me the whole book. I'm not sure that I have ever seen that before."
Me: "What do you mean?"
Teacher: "Well the day before he's not reading, and then he suddenly knows EVERY word in the book. I didn't even have to help him with ANY words. Not one."
Me: "He's a fairly unusual young man. I told you that his brain has always been - unique."
Teacher: "Yeah, but it's like he already has nearly every word in the English language memorized and somehow the switch just got turned on."
Me: "T is an absolute perfectionist to a fault. So i don't think he wanted to read until he knew that he could. As I told you a while ago, all of the tools were already there. We read a lot - every day, and we learn new words too."
Teacher: "Yeah, but do you know how special it is to just learn like that? You have a very special young boy. You should be very proud of him."
Me: "Thank you. I'm very proud of him. Wait til you start doing Math, then you're really gonna be freaked out."
Teacher: "I'm not freaked out at all. I'm just reminded of why I love being a teacher."

I walked out of the school, out into the playground, and judge me not, but I had to shed a few little tears.

Because she was right, and today I learned what pride was. Real pride. The kind that makes you puff out your chest and ask the world if they wanna take you on today because you're ready for anything.

He inspires me every day.

Our kids can teach us more than we teach them - if our eyes are open.

Sorry for the rant. #proudPapa

First Trouble

When I asked T how his day was today after school, he conveyed that he had got into trouble...

T: "I got my own table today Daddy. I have to stay there forever."

Me: "Probably not forever, but do you want to tell me what happened?"

T: "No."

Me: "Well CAN you tell me what happened? I'm not going to give you trouble, I just want to try and understand what happened."

T: "Ok, I guess. I'm not going to get in more trouble, right?"

Me: "Right."

T: "Ok. I was disruptive, and talked when I wasn't supposed to."

Me: "That doesn't sound too bad, are you sure there wasn't aything else?"

T: "No. Well... that did actually happen a few times. Like in the class... in the gym... in computer class... in centres..."

Me: "Is there a reason that you were talking?"

T: "Yeah, cuz N was talking to ME."

Me: "But you know that there are times you can talk to N and times that you can't."

T: "I know Daddy. I'm just bored. We keep learning stuff I already know."

And so it begins.

The eternal walk of trouble through boredom...

I know it well. I got in a bit of trouble at school.

But I lasted more than a couple of months before I reached the state.

What I learned from my experiences, and the piece of "wisdom" that I hoped to convey to Tommy, was this:

Me: "I understand. We've already done a lot of learning because you're very lucky, and very smart. But you have to let everybody else learn too. Do you understand?"

T: "No."

(lmao)

Me: "(fighting off the laugh) Well just because you have already learned something, doesn't mean everybody has. Let them learn - you'll have more to talk with them about. If you're bored, memorize everything the teacher says. I know you can remember things with incredible detail. Focus on the details."

T: "I like details."

Me: "I know you do little man. So when you already know something, learn it better. Learn it well enough that you could teach one of your friends if they didn't understand something. Wouldn't that be nice?"

T: "I could help be a teacher?"

*recognizing the enormous negative ramifications that could stem from this*

Me: "Well not really a teacher bud. But you can be a helper to your friends. You could help E (his little girlfriend, awww) if she ever didn't understand something. Like say she was having trouble counting..."

T: "So I could have a play date about counting?"

Perhaps it's wrong, but while this isn't what i was neccessarily driving at, it seemed like it was the reward at the end of the rainbow, so I went with it...

Me: "Sure you could bud. If you understood well enough because you had listened and memorized everything."

T: "I will listen. i will memorize everything."

And the scary thing is... he just might.

School Is In!!

This week marked a very important milestone for Tommy - he registered for school!

Tommy is a February birthday, and was not eligible for Junior Kindergarten this past September, so he will be going this upcoming fall. While it seems ridiculous to me that he will not be in a standard Kindergarten class until September 2016, I'm glad that he will soon be starting this next chapter of his life. Tommy is a learning sponge, and a social animal - the only thing that school will not offer Tommy, is much of a challenge. With so much to gain though, that will be an easy bump in the road.

His entrance into "the system" marks a very important time. In his first four years on this planet, his parents' sacrifices have been... many. Believing in the sanctity and importance of his early learning years, we took it upon ourselves to give more of our time than most parents choose, or can afford to do.

There is presumably a slightly unique mindset to a parent who does not experience the blessings of a child until after he is 40 years old. Is it a moderate amount of wisdom? A tangible sense of appreciation? A modicum of mild sensibility?

Whatever it is, I made the decision early on in parenthood that I was not going to miss any of the important early moments. I wasn't going to spend my life working more, so that I could provide for my son better. I felt the best thing that I had to "provide" or to offer, was me. And my time. And my love.

So while I could wax poetic all day long about all of the wonderful experiences and joy that it has brought me in the last four years, I will just say that it has been an incredibly thrilling, and fulfilling ride. Not a bed of roses by any means, the struggles have been many, and arduous. It's not a path that all can take; but, it's one that I am personally extremely thankful to have chosen for myself.

We have built an incredible bond - an amazing meld of guidance AND friendship. We have spent so much time with each other that we know the subtlest of nuances in each other. It helps Tommy every day. It helps me every moment of every day. It is a powerful parenting tool to know your child on an atomic level.

We share a love of learning. We share a love of gamesmanship. We share a love of silly-ness. We share a love of a lot of things, but most importantly of all, we share. A lot. I am so thankful every day not only of the love and joy that he brings me, but of the fact that I am constantly cognizant of it. I think it's part of a zen existence to enjoy where you are at all times. Tommy has taught me to do just that.

So it is with a very strange juxtaposition of excitement and disappointment that I turned over those registration papers this week. A beautiful beginning for Tommy, marks a very sad ending for his mom and dad. Tommy's everything. Gone will be the days of owning every moment of his time, and every drop of his energy. And his love.

But when the disappointment washed over me in a day or two, and the selfish pangs waned... I was left with an incredible feeling of fulfillment. Of making that "sacrifice". Of deciding to dedicate all of myself to him for as long as life would permit. Nobody can ever take away the incredible good that has been done. The incredible base and foundation that we have built, as a father and son.

My little man is ready to take on the world, with me at his side.

Job well done.

Lil T's Current Top 10 Music List

I take my son's music education very seriously. He loves music, and seems to be legitimately moved by it. He sings, he rocks, he smashes instrumenmts - he even does "interpretive dance". He's quite a good dancer actually, much better than his daddy.

But I love music. Always have. I have a fairly expansive music collection, and it truly contains genres of every type. While it is natural for me to gravitate towards things that I like musically, I try to put a steady diet of different things at Tommy's fingerprints... or eardrums I guess.

I don't think Tommy is quite capable of comprehending a Top 10 list yet, so I can't ask him, but here is a list of what it SEEMS like his top 10 current favorites are. You may be surprised...

1. Hot Dog - Led Zeppelin



2. Heartbeat - It's A Lovebeat - The Defranco Family



3. Drift Away - Dobie Gray



4. Over the Hills and Far Away - Led Zeppelin



5. Dead Skunk - Loudon Wainwright III



6. Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia - Vicki Lawrence



7. Let it Go - Frozen Soundtrack



8. Mirror in the Bathroom - English Beat



9. Stuck in the Middle - Stealers Wheel



10. Tonight You Belong To Me - Billy Rose  - but made infinitely famous recently by this awesome YT video of a dad and his 4y old little girl. Precious. Nice work fellow Thug Daddy.




So much music to put in front of him, so little time. Tommy is currently developing a penchant for 70s rock.

Shocking.

One thing that shines through regardless of the genre though, is happiness. Music makes Tommy happy. Daddy too.

After all, music feeds the soul.