How Vile!?!?!?!

Some anecdotes require little-to-no-setup... like this one:

Upon entering the basement to grab some clothes from the dryer, I hear Tommy say from the upstairs...

"UH-OH.... DADDY!!! Don't come up here! I farted and it really, really smells. Like bad. Like you might get sick. I'll tell you when the coast is clear."

This is the point in where I should probably mention something about the proverbial apple and how it didn't fall from the tree...

Fart Character

This post will likely offend some ladies in that they will not quite understand me on a fundamental fart level.

Here it is...

Boys. Like. Farts.

The louder and smellier - the more to behold. Even when defensive action is required.

I know that it is impossible for a woman to understand how it is possible to like something so putrid, so foul, so stench-ful, so nauseating; but those are just ways by which we boys rate and judge our farts - they aren't in any way negative.

Ok, ok... I hear you... this is a blog about daddies or kids somewhere right?

Yes.

My almost two-year old boy Tommy is developing his own "fart character". What I mean by that is, he is starting to learn timing, and the importance of it in a fart. *makes toilet training possibility note here*

Today he was walking around like you would imagine a child would imitate a chicken... squatted down, but not with thumbs tucked in armpits like as if he was a chicken... he had his arms looped around the back of his thighs... I couldn't figure out for the life of me what he was doing.

Then all of a sudden, he popped up off his feet like you would expect a child to imitate a chicken or a duck... still nothing earth shattering here I know, but then it happened...

... he landed and he FARTED as he landed. I froze... holding breath so as not to laugh, and then he did it again, and then AGAIN... three quick hops, with a fart on each landing.

Without a word between us (his back was to me and he was hopping away) - we both simultaneously burst into laughter.

Then he looked back at me, saw I was laughing, and laughed that much harder.

I guess it is at this point that I should perhaps mention that I don't encourage rude fart behavior with Tommy. It is a house where we always excuse ourselves if it happens. It is a house where he will hopefully one day learn that farts have to be controlled in the 'right way' in certain circumstances... as in not having them, or leaving a room... but for now... it's pretty darn exciting to see some fart control.

It's also pretty funny to see a kid that isn't taught any fart games, just learn them. As if somehow it is actually part of our genetic make-up.

You'll argue that my laughter shows acceptance. And I would be a fool to deny you. I won't. You are correct. But I swear, this is a case of chicken before the egg isn't it?

And he clearly did the chicken fart, before I ever laughed at that egg. Or taught him any such silly, or exaggerated fart game.

I mean, I hadn't even bothered teaching him fart stuff yet. #ruhroh

I do believe it's a #thugdaddy's responsibility to help his son form a POLITE, yet potentially humorous fart character for himself. It's a far more important element of our existence than you could possibly imagine... or would even let yourself believe.

Sorry ladies..

#thugdaddyrights